the other children

so i have as every parent, found my favorite and run with it.  how do you distribute love equally, when you know one child is much better than the others? we i feel guilty for not mentioning my other little girls.  one is named haile, like the guy, and the other is named chauncey. i loved those names but beth has squashed the idea of naming any of our children, which we don't have, either of these names.  haile is about 7 lbs and growing steady. i am hoping she makes it to 12. chauns as i call her is slightly bigger and very jealous of her big sister, she is on the same vine.  the problem with these two is they aren't photogenic at all. even worse they hide, cause are smaller, under the big leaves. it makes it hard to give them enough of what they need but i guess i will try much harder.  i mean i love my dogs differently, or do i hate them equally? who knows but it sucks to have kids! i mean more than one pumpkin. 

increasing in size.

i know that this is a huge dilemma for most females but this one is okay.  i am getting curious about her progress to be the best she can and found this website;  www.backyardgardener.com/weight.html, and it gave me a guestimation.  i don't know about guessing weights but this one seems to be fine for now.  i guess my eye is a bit off from the equation those people came up with, but i can deal with that.  what i can't deal with is election years. these smear adds are driving me up a wall the seem to increase in size and frequency. they taut their constituents as evil people, which most politicians are, who don't care about the planet or the people on it.  i just can't take it anymore. these budgets these people us on television are obsessive to say the least, down right obese is what i call them. how can we get them to see this a misuse of what they say they want to "change in washington," the publics money. i am not going to touch AIG. so i propose a boycot of political spending from the middle class and i say we overthrow both political parties and put clowns in instead, at least we would know they were clowns

rollin' rocks!

there are few thing in life i hold dear and this is in order (just kidding dear), beer, my wife, dogs, pumpkins, golf, bowling, and sure some family members. last night was shaping up to be a normal night. we went out to dinner with our friends lerb(lance, he wanted a tougher name) and rhonda(her lesbian name) to dinner at a steak joint.  the food was good i got my steak rare and it was delicious.  after dinner we decided to call it a night cause rhonda is in the family way, knocked up for all of you that don't know my grandma, and tired and beth was tired too.  so as we leave the parking lot lerb calls us and says, lets go bowling.  i was like hells yeah!! so we stop at family dollar to get beth some socks and then head down to elitch lanes to "roll the rock," as i like to call it.  i was bowling poorly due to a freak gout accident, and boy does it hurt.  so we were enjoying ourselves and in the 8th frame i get the dreaded 7-10 split.  now if you know about bowling you know this is impossible to convert the spare.  when i used to bowl twice a week with my brothers, larry, wally, the jesus, and others, we would always try our hardest to pick this up to no avail. last night i got my eyes focused on the prize, took an extra few seconds, released the ball as normal, "just like shaking hands" the golf pro a the jeremy country club would say(he has had a perfect 300 game).  the spin wasn't as perfect as i would have liked but it was reaching the all right target arrows at the right times.  i hit the seven perfect! it slid as if in slow motion straight at the 10 pin at a snails pace. reaching the 10 pin barely knocking it off its mooring and tumbling it to the ground.  i did it!!! i have made the hardest shot in bowling and lived to tell about it.  i am so proud of myself that in the facility i jump up and down waving my hands yelling "i am the best, yes, yes, yes." doing fist pumps and yelling.  after a few minutes of this i start to do a dance right by our lane and some drunk dude walks out of the bathroom and says "yeah man, do it, do it." unbeknownst to him i had just made the hardest shot in bowling, but it made me feel good cause everyone else was hiding their faces laughing at me cause i was making a fool of my self. i am totally aware that this happens all too  much, that i make a fool of myself, for me to even care.  i just did something i have been trying to do almost as long as i have been trying to get a hole in one playing golf.

HURRAY FOR ME!  I feel like the DUDE from the big lebowski, i can't be beat

Getting to work!

paying your dues is something i have grown to love and hate.  i think that sometimes you just need to let thing sort themselves out and get healthy.  i have done neither. i kind of make, or let thermodynamics take it's course, things into a middle east sort of melee.  i have achieved this in many facets of my life and don't see any change coming soon, no one, even myself, wants change, for fear the planet might come to this vortex and we all die.  during my playing in the garden, having my older and much smarter brother show me some unbelievable things on the internet, which i finished in it's entirety last night by the way, and trying to justify to my wife that i am part mexican, i have realized that chaos is needed.  my pumpkin, the big one is now 10x the size of this little cantaloupe. the disorder that my baby has reorganized is in some way creating a huge legacy of large prizewinning fruits.  i mean if she doubles in size in the next month and a half she will have reached the goals i have set for her.  funny how much that gourd and my life are parallels. we both in someway have understood chaos and have tried to harness it into something less negative or positive, depending on the charge.  

now as we get into the college football season and i realize that gambling is not an addiction, it is a privilege! no man, who went to college, should deny his alma mater or himself the opportunity to make him some extra cash while proving that your donations to the program did help.  football, american football and all football for that matter, was invented so man could gamble! it is as clear as the debate on pro-life, evolution, or god! this college or pro football season, fathers, uncles, older brothers, and younger brothers, if your older brothers are stupid and didn't teach you, take some time to show the youth of this great day and age how to read a point spread, understand over unders, managing to make good picks on parlays, and last but not least, how to find a bookie that has a solid rep and pays/collects on time!!!!

THANKS!!! werd to your mutha!!!!

holy crap!

holy crap, this thing is getting huge! well one of my pretty little girls is pushing maximum density.  she is now about 25 lbs and counting. she still has 2 whole months left to reach her potential.  I am really excited to see how big this one gets. i wanted to ultimately have 3 or 4 but that plan isn't working out to well.  the one to the left here is closest to the main root and the main stem so it gets most of the nutrients.  thus it's size.  there are two others still on the vine but they will last thru the weekend.  i feel, that i think like columbus,lewis and clark, or the guy who invented the tivo, because i am doing something new, i guess we aren't even close.  but i do feel good about the pumpkins.  i have a close spot near my heart where they belong.  i don't think i can love a child as much as my pumpkins cause they will talk back to me. plus i will have to wipe up their crap.  this whole crap thing reminds me about this freaking election year. not the presidential race, even though it reminds me of a story about the three little pigs, i won't go into it. i am so sick of the crap that these candidates for congress can put on tv and let kids see.  i think i am going to try and pass a law that they candidates get in a ring and they all fight it out and the winner gets all the votes. this would make more sense cause the guys who won would have to be a mindless wonder and we would know it.  but all these other mindless freaks paint themselves to be these erudite and they still make crapy excuses and decisions.  well what are we going to do? we can't kill them! wish we could! maybe we have to tell them all the hot celebs are doing it and maybe just maybe they can be like spike "whining baby" lee, that is his indian name.  so listen i believe we need to concentrate and ponder the meaning of life, no, the movie and how good it really is. 

and for all of you that watch 30Rock and loved sandwich day; 

"Alcohol, this smells just like hill people milk. I've been drinking this since I was a baby! Mmmmm,. . . . . . . . . its on y'all!" Kenneth Parcell head page.